Lent..a time to Mourn

Lent:  To Everything there is a Season…a time to mourn.

For over 2,000 years Christians acknowledged a season which has come to be known as Lent.  Lent is a season where we give up something we love, sacrifice for the better good, and “repent” of what we have done wrong.   Such “giving up” or repenting is suppose to prepare us for better days.  Ironically, before Lent starts, there is the biggest dirtiest party of them all, Mardi Gras.  This is actually a few days of time from Epiphany Sunday to Fat Tuesday night where you eat and party before you start your “fast.”  And boyhawdy, do some people party!  I’d love to go down to New Orleans for Mardi Gras or Venice for Carnival.  People put on masks, go to balls and dances, and eat—or as my brother would have said it, “pig out.” Of course, many have a more bawdy time filled with drinking, drugs and sex.  So by the time Ash Wednesday comes, they are certain to have something to “repent” about, and if they don’t remember it’s only because they have a hangover.

That’s what has happened to this season, it brings out the worst in us hoping for the best to come.  It is captured in the idea of “getting it out of your system.”  My grandpa said I should go try a drink of whisky with him, so that I would know how much I don’t like it, and I would thereby get it out of my mind as a “temptation.”  His hope was thereafter if somebody offered me a drink of alcohol I could honestly answer, “hate the stuff and wouldn’t have anything to do with it, thank you very much.”  It’s also the idea of “sowing your wild oats” as a youth.  Even King David speaks of “the sins of his youth,” where we do stupid things, things we look back on and say “I cannot believe I did that!”  And we can reply, “well, at least you got it out of your system.”   Strangely, for some this is true but for others they end up in a life of stupid:  addicted to what eventually destroys their humanity.

It’s interesting that the season of Lent happens every year.  It’s also honest.  We try to do good, try to succeed; too often we only succeed at doing bad.  Most of us need a New Year, a new day to try again.  I too believe the old motto, “if at first you don’t succeed, try try again.”  Sometimes what stops us from being able to “try, try again” is our feeling of being responsible for the failure, or of being overwhelmed by all that we have done wrong.  We don’t even want to give ourselves another chance, perhaps we feel we don’t deserve it, or perhaps we fear we will only fail all the more horridly.  At times we just don’t have the energy to try again.  We are tired, fallen and cannot get up.  It’s no mistake that this season of Lent is associated with the Flood of Noah and the end of his world.  Sometimes life feels like it is submerged in the flood waters in which we are drowning.  We drown in financial debt, marital dismay, emotional upset, relationship breakup, addictions, stupid choices,  social injustice… you know the list, you’ve have your own.  Everyone feels overwhelmed, some drown.

The truth is that bad builds, stupid breeds, and evil grows.  So our debts goes out of control, our relationships grow further apart, the depression worsens, and the pit we are in gets deeper.  When we were young it was owing someone one dollar, now it’s more like thousands.  When we were young it was breaking up  with our teenage crush, now it’s our wife or husband.  When we were young it was failing a test, now it is failing at our job.  It feels the same, the child feels just as “failed” as the adult.  And at times life can overwhelm us, it’s not really about the proportion of our failure, hurts or struggle—they all feel the same.   For this reason teenage suicide is all too real, as an adult you might look at that suicide say, “if only they had hung on, they would see that life gets better.” We can see and even understand their despair over the loss of their first love, hurt from “not fitting in,” or even their addictions.  We understand these because we have either seen it before or lived through it ourselves.  But for them, it’s the first time.  For others it is the millionth time, because they haven’t learned how to overcome.  For these adults it is the failure over the years that build up and drown them. 

I believe part of the problem is we live in a world where only victory is acknowledged, believed in and supported.  To win the race is better than to lose it.  To be poor is not as good as it is to be rich.  To be happy is better than to be sad.  To be successful is better than to have failed.  To be athletic and fit is better than being slow and fat.  To be holy is better than being a sinner.  To be perfect is better than being flawed.  We measure our live and train our kids to be perfect, ideal and victorious.  We preach a victorious Christ, not a poor, suffering  and crucified Christ.  We have not taught our kids or ourselves how to fail, how to suffer, how to have sorrow.  Instead we have associated these things with evil and therefore we have only taught how to shun them.  I know I do, I hate suffering and pain,  I don’t want to have to have sorrow.

That’s where the biblical narrative is helpful.  Noah lived in a time of super beings who lived selfishly and were “evil” come to earth.  The Hebrew Children had 400 years in a land where they ended up slaves followed by 40 years in wilderness desert with little food or water.  Jesus wondered in a desert for 40 days, followed by 3 years of trying to save the world for 3 years only to be killed for it.  Scripture acknowledged the fact the human life has a lot of pain and suffering.   It acknowledges the fact the humanity has a self-destructive pattern that can even be seasonal. We need to retrain ourselves and our youth.  We need to understand that failure is part of success, even as death is part of life, and that mourning is the flipside of joy.  This shouldn’t surprise us, as the Beatles sang “to everything there is a season—turn, turn, turn!”  Oh, wait, they got that from the Bible (Ecclesiastes 4). 

What can we learn?  As Christmas was the time to celebrate and to learn to acknowledge love and joy, Lent is the time to mourn, to pass through sorrows and brokenness.  Lent might seem like some pompous religious effort to drag us down, if that is true then forget it.  But if you actually do feel overwhelmed, depressed, struggling to live life well, and hurt—then Lent is for you.  Because the whole point of Lent isn’t the flood, but the Ark that saved humanity from it.  It isn’t only about Jesus being tempted, but about how he overcame temptation, and how after he was murdered, he went to Hell to be with us and help lead us out.  Lent is an acknowledgement that things go wrong, we go wrong, do wrong.  Death and despair happen, but that there is a way through the darkness of our soul, the wilderness of our suffering, the floods of despair: We can see the light, find the promised land and be sail above the flood waters.  

Welcome to Hell

They say “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”  Oh! So that’s how I got here.

Now before you jump to conclusions, I’m not talking about where I live and work in Saginaw, nor Michigan, or my orientation, or my divorce, or my salvation—though salvation is certainly part of the idea.  Saved from what?  Hell?  Yep, Hell, that’s what most of our religions strive to do,  save us from an afterlife in Hell.  In fact they work so hard on it that sometimes they bring hell on Earth just so we can get a glimpse of what we want to avoid.   They first save us, then pile on the rules, regulations and guilt until we are doubly damned, here on Earth and in Hell.  Why, who needs to go to Hell—you are already there.  In this way, those we seek to save are too often damned by the salvation we offer.   

I fear I have sent too many to hell, walked them down the road and gave them a tour.  My friends use to joke by accusing me of being the “cause of universal lamentation,” which was a quote from the story of the Philemon, the mime martyr from 308 AD.  Of course they would laugh—as would I, but there are times when I feel like I’m in Hell, a living Hell and think I’d be better off dead because of the road that I’ve walked. I can hear my Christian friends immediately speak up and say—but Jesus can save you!  Two things I have to say about that:  first off, yes, Jesus can, but more likely he’s walking beside me or waiting in Hell to help me out; and second off, others walk that path of salvation.  Now before you get mad, think about it.  If Christianity is true, it calls all people, all human beings to be part of a force on this earth that “saves” not damns.   I think it is most people’s intention to “Save”…unfortunately “the road to Hell…”

There are some significant times in my life when I felt as if I were in Hell, when I was betrayed by my best friends, when I told my kids I was getting a divorce, when Joshua was murdered, and the day I wrote this article.
It is a sad truth that I know the road to Hell, been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. Why, as I have already suggested, I can even give you a tour! In fact, why not,  I’ll tell you one of the stories of how I got to hell—it’s probably one you already know.

Joshua showed me the way.  Oh, it’s not because he chose it, it’s all about his mom and dad—and a heavenly battle with demonic ends called divorce and custody.  You see, when parents get divorced one of the most common things they do wrong is to demonize the other parent.  My mom use to demonize my Dad (who is a great and loving man).  But she successfully convienced me that to live with my dad was to live with the devil, give in to temptation and mostly like would lead me to hell.  It took me a long time to rebel against this teaching—and I’m glad I did: but, what a terrible thing to have to rebel against.  Mom? Dad?  I have to choose between them?  One is “good” and the other is “bad”;  one “holy” and one “evil”; one the path to Heaven, the other the path to Hell.  Well, when my mom divorced my stepdad (Joshua’s Dad) she demonized his use of drugs (specifically pot and that fact that he drank wine).  My stepdad demonized my mom by making her too “holier-than-though” and accused her trying to control Joshua.  Joshua had to “choose” between the two.  His “choice” would lead him to a Mexican border where he would have his head blown off… 

I died a little the day Joshua was murdered.  I had helped raise him and Rebekah.  From birth I was his babysitter.  One year, I stayed home over 65 days of school to babysit.  I was good at it, once my mom and step dad went to Arizona for a week and left me to babysit… I was only 12 years old.  By 15,  when my step dad was kicked out during the first series of marital separations, I became a surrogate dad--while also trying to be a big brother and friend.  At 17 I moved from Washington to Arizona, and I tried to help my mom, Joshua and Rebekah from afar.  At 19 I moved to Paris, France.  My mom finally divorced my stepdad—but I was too far away to be there for my brother and sister.  I supported my mom, brother and sister with the money I earned, helped pay for their education, helped clothe and house them…but I was in France, and I too was young to be very effective.  I didn’t do enough; couldn’t do enough.  Joshua was constantly struggling between the love of his mother and the love of his father.  Wanting both, trying to live in both worlds, Joshua struggled with how to live in their worlds.  The judgments made by each “side” created a living hell.   So he made choices, and it is too easy to say they were “bad ones,” but who knows what you would have chosen for the love a parent? Or were his choices the a result of a war waged in the name of Love—perhaps you’d no longer believe in Love or anyone who claims a relationship to it.    Perhaps you too would recoil from the world, not make a choice “between” and live as an island to yourself. 

I tried to step in, to save my brother.  I had good intentions.  After I came back from Paris, I married and moved to the United States.  I saw that Joshua was struggling, he had lost the soccer scholarship to a great college and dropped out after getting “high” with his dad.  His dad always told him that going to college was his mom’s idea, an idea for the High and Mighty.  Joshua was told that he was being controlled by his mom, sister and big brother. He was told that we were tying to make him become to “holier-than-thou” and he needed to “be-himself” or in other words. I think Joshua understood that to mean “use pot, don’t go to school” was to be the true Joshua…   So Joshua dropped out of school—well, he had to, he wouldn’t have passed the drug test.  This began the worst of Joshua’s trips between his mom and dad.  He would try to clean up, and then fall back into it.   I tried to participate in his life.  I took him to Hawaii on tour with me, tried to love him as best I could and include him in my life—but my life was too foreign, I had lived in a wide world he couldn’t relate to, I took him to fancy restaurants and exotic beaches, all he wanted was hamburgers and to play basket ball.  Our worlds were far apart and I didn’t know how to reach him.  I loved him, and he loved me—but I couldn’t help him.  My heart broke and he moved back to Washington.  Back in Washington, he was caught in a sting operation set up by a friend to ensnare him for selling pot too close to school grounds.  He served a house arrest.  

I tried again to “save” Joshua, I moved him to Missouri where I and my then wife Marilyn had just opened a school for Mimeistry.  I offered to help him get back into college, into church life, and clean up—a second chance.  Though he lived in my house, we didn’t have much time together, I was busy touring and teaching—building a kingdom and world which was strange to him.  He played basketball, tried to go to church a little, tried to “connect.”  He didn’t connect, he couldn’t connect to the “rules” of this very public “Christian” life, and the arguments of his mom and dad only seemed too echoed in the life I led.  He didn’t feel at home, and though he felt loved, he also felt smothered and conflicted all the more.  So he moved out.

Joshua started a series of moves, wife/girlfriends--kids, jobs, addictions and clean-ups that would eventually lead him to live with his dad in Mexico.  There he would get involved in the drug world of my stepdad.  That world can be as laid back as my hippy stepdad where everything is beautiful and the world is a place of drugged peace and love, or it can be a world of money and guns.  Joshua met up with the guns and had his brains blown out in my stepdad’s peaceful and loving drug filled world: a world I could not save him from and one from which he couldn’t–or wouldn’t—save himself;  a world that would murder him.

Every once and I while my heart stirs with a profound love for someone, and I connect with them as if they had some profound line to past loves and losses, and I want to another chance to love and save.  That is certainly my intention.  I’m a pastor, it’s my job to love people and to help “save.”  I also am father and a friend, and I believe that there is no greater love that we can give another person, than to give our own life for another.  So I have tried to help others, some who were strangers on the street and some dear as family.  Some people come into my life and win my heart thoroughly, I can see the face of all I loved before, hear Joshua’s voice, feel my mom’s kiss or my best friend's hugs… people dead, betrayed—and even some of my betrayers. I want to be part of their life, I want to help them, I want to save them from a gun filled world, I want to redeem them—or perhaps I should say I want to redeem myself, get a chance.  But like my efforts with my brother Joshua—I too fail. The hardest truth for me is that in trying “be there” for my brother, I only drove him further into his hell.  I want to believe that I have learned my lessons, that I can be better at loving in a helpful way, that is  also my intention.

Life if full of good intentions… welcome to hell.  I could end there, but I am reminded of a simple truth.  Jesus is also there… and I can take comfort in that, for we are not alone. 

So I continue to try to love and live life in a way that leads people to happiness, and to becoming better human beings. I continue to try to help them discover who they can be in the midst of choices made in an ever graying world.  It is too easy to condemn my stepdad for his use of illegal drugs, when my mom died a holy woman who had taken too many prescribed legal drugs.  I can and will continue to stand against a world of violence and abuse, of selfishness and greed, of hurts so great that it causes people to run from the very things they need, from rules and laws that bind people to hell instead of liberating them.  I will continue to fight for the salvation and good of those I love.  I just hope I can learn to do it better!

Here I do end.  For today is one of those hellish days for me, and I must confess…it is hard sometimes and in such a time as this I realize I too need saving.

A Pledge Against Bullying

A Pledge Against Bullying

We pledge that we will never again be silent about the value of each and every life.                
We pledge to communicate to our children and the children of the communities that God loves all of us.  Without exception, we believe bullying and harassment, making fun of someone for perceived differences, and taunting and harming others is wrong.  The Golden Rule is still the rule we want to live by.               
We pledge to urge our churches, our individual parishes or offices, our schools and religious establishments to create safe spaces for each and every child of God, without regard to sexual orientation or gender identity.                
We pledge to be LGBT and straight people of faith standing together for the shared values of decency and civility, compassion and care in all interactions. 

 *************************************
A Grand Rapids Faith Coalition Against Bullying

On October 13, 2010 a petition denouncing bullying was signed by national church leaders across denominational lines: including Reformed Church in America, Baptists, Episcopalians, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, Methodists, Unitarian Universalists, and other leaders within the National Council of Churches.  What united these diverse faith leaders?  The belief that God’s first message to all humanity is Love not Hate.   What sparked the need to take a stand and make a statement was the recent and dramatic increase of teen suicides and hate crimes that have their origin in bullying. Those who committed suicide or suffered hate crimes were from varying faiths and races, they came from different regions of the nation.  According to the petition and news reports, one thing was found in common, “they were perceived to be gay or lesbian [and] each in their own way faced bullying and harassment or struggled with messages of religion and culture that made them fear the consequences of being who they were.”  
Our silence in the face of bullying against gays has given silent support to feed a fatal beast.   Too often the silence of faith leaders suggests compliance with the hateful language, taunting, belittling and spiritual condemnation that leads a teen toward a spiral of depression toward suicide.  Our silence also supports the bullies whose action can lead to death of those bullied and imprisonment for the bully. The sad fact is that many of those who “bully” believe they are not only justified, they believe they are supported in their ridicule and persecution of perceived gays or lesbians.  The bullies usually have been allowed to breed their insults at school, houses of faith, and even at home in the bed of social myths, traditional prejudices, and religious agreements.  Bullies whisper their taunts in the hallways, snicker at the odd kid in the classroom, exclude the undesirable boy in the play ground, tease the peculiar child on the bus and walk home.  

We must stand up and speak for these kids, show them God’s love.   We ask you to join us in supporting the petition of Clergy Against Bullying:
  “We, as leaders of faith, write today to say we must hold ourselves accountable, and we must hold our colleagues in the ministry, accountable for the times, whether by our silence or our proclamations, our inaction or our action, we have fueled the kids of beliefs that make it possible for people to justify violence in the name of faith…. There is no excuse for inspiring or condoning violence against any of our human family.  We may not all agree on what the Bible says or doesn’t say about sexuality, including homosexuality, but this we do agree on:  The Bible says, “God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God and God in them.” Abiding in love—together—is the rule we must all preach, teach and seek to live by….The young people who took their lives a few weeks ago died because the voices of people who believe in the love of God for all the people of God were faint and few in the face of those who did the bullying, harassing and condemning.  Today we write to say we will never again be silent about the value of each and every life.              

      To that end, we pledge to urge our churches, our individual parishes or offices, our schools and religious establishments to create a safe space for each and every child of God, without regard to sexual orientation or gender identity.  And we ask you to join us in that pledge.               
       Today we personally pledge to be LGBT and straight people of faith standing together for the shared values of decency and civility, compassion and care in all interactions.  We ask you, our colleagues, to join us in this pledge.                  We want our children and the children of the communities we serve to grow up knowing that God loves all of us and that without exception, bullying and harassment, making fun of someone for perceived differences, and taunting and harming others is wrong.  The Golden Rule is still the rule we want to live by.”
We ask you stand up and be heard in the name of God’s Love.
Rev. Todd Farley, PhD
Intentional Interim Senior Pastor
Second Congregational UCC of Grand Rapids

“That’s so gay,” has become a common statement in school to describe that which is undesirable and to be ridiculed. Other insidious taunts are constantly flung without regard, care or critique. By the time the closeted gay son or daughter come home they have had a barrage of messages of their lack of worth and value.  When gay or lesbian teens are open about their orientation, they are all the more mocked and scorned.  Though this might not be by the general masses, those few who bully are usually not stopped, or spoken against.  The bullying snide remark, taunt, push and shove is overlooked by those in the hall, classroom, home and church.  Our silence permits the bully to continue.  Thus many a youth have heard these messages of rejection at home, in their churches and in their schools, they many times feel they have no place to turn. They have no safe haven from the storm.

Theatre in Debate: an ancient dialogue between Tertullian and Lucian

Theater in Debate

Between Lucian of Samosata and Tertullian 

By Todd Farley  (1994)

Characters:

   Narrator

   Lucian of Samosata

   Tertullian

Notes:

This account is created to illustrate the thinking of opposing factions on the topic of the theatre.

Most of the quotes are from their own writings:  however, at times they quote people who lived after their time and before the 700 A.D.

Quotes from Lucian’s “the Dance” and Tertullian’s “The Show’s” are in italics.

Narrator:  Come into the grave, where two unlikely figures met on the way. The ancient satirist Lucian has been looking for early church father Tertullian, having just read Tertullian’s book entitled “The Shows,” Lucian has a bone to pick with him.  Tertullian is familiar with Lucian, having read his book called “The Ass” and thinks little better of him.

Lucian: Tertullian! There you are. I've been looking all over for you. I've had the opportunity of reading over the indictment that you have so laboriously prepared against the theatre. I was hoping you'd spare me a moment to give me the pleasure of testing your thoughts. For is seems to me you have missed the mark, like Crato, and condemned to Hades that which is most noble in life. [1]

Tertullian: I'm afraid we have already divided paths, the only thing noble in Life is our Lord. I know of your speeches and your logic is not mine. You will win no debate with me, not with your foolish words and twisting. I will not play your fool or be your donkey.[2]

Lucian: Tell me, Tertullian do you pass judgment on me because I am not a Christian? Have you lost all your ability to talk on Human levels? Well, if that is so, we indeed have no grounds for conversation: for I am earth bound and not as heavenly as you. If you could condescend to my level for but a moment, we might even grow in our conversation.

Tertullian: I will talk to you as we are so oddly met, if only to convert your mind to true thoughts and from this devilry. Perhaps I shall deliver your soul from the clutches of Satan, whom you undoubtedly serve.[3]

Lucian: Heracles![4] You'd have me serve a god I don't even know. Well, you Christians are like that. Anyway, my first argument is this—dance and theatre are birthed by the gods: Rhea danced to save Zeus from Cronus,[5] the Indian God of Day danced and was danced to, [6] the Muses danced,[7] Dionysius and Aphrodite joined in the dance,[8] Ares learned to dance as a child-god,[9] the list goes on. To dance is to touch the art of the gods!

Tertullian: You point out your own falsity and perversion, and by your own words condemn yourself to fire! You claim your gods created dance. Listing the Titan Rhea as the first goddess that danced to save Zeus (the Devil Himself) from none other than Cronus (Satan himself) [10]—of whom even the other demon/gods expressed hatred![11] Dionysius or Bacchus, Aphrodite or Venus, These two evil spirits are in sworn confederacy with each other as patrons of drunkenness and lust; Venus wanton by her sex, and Bacchus with his phallic drapery.[12] While to dance's service is the voice, song, lute, and pipe which are the talents of Apollos, Muses, Minervas, and Mercuries.[13] These are names we execrate[14] from our midst, damned[15] names of evil idols!

Lucian: By Zeus,[16] your stubborn! I will change my argument to include your God. As I understand it[17] your God made the heavens[18] and your songs (Psalms) tell of the earth dancing (trembling or spinning) in awe of God,[19] our poets agree! They tell us, “the very Heavens dance in an interlacing of errant planets with fixed starts, their rhythmic agreement and timed harmony[20]are proofs that Dance was primordial. Dance then grew in stature until by the days in which we lived, she had reached a height of perfection and high diversification that was harmonious, a rich musical boon to mankind.”[21] Even your christian writers, in the Acts of John, speak of your Jesus as the dancer of the Universe, "I will pipe, Dance, all of you—to the Universe belongs the dancer—amen. He who does not dance does not know what happens—follow my dance, see yourself in Me who am speaking -- you who dance, consider what I do, for yours is this passion of Man which I am to suffer."[22] It sounds to me like your God even supports the dance![23]

Tertullian: Gods! Gods and heretics![24] With these you would support your claim. You must do better.

Lucian: Oh, but I can. Your Jesus uses references to dance: he and John piped to the Pharisees[25]—sounds like my Apollo![26] He also used dance in the story of the lost son.[27] I believe these stories meet your approval?

Tertullian: Don't profane the Lord’s name with comparisons to demons.[28] However, you surprise me with your knowledge of our Holy writings; or maybe I shouldn't be surprised at one who uses God's Words against humanity; so did the serpent in the garden! Your ignorance is also clear. These words were spoken as an allegory not as fact. Jesus never played the pipe nor condoned dance, He used it as a teaching tool.

Lucian: It seems strange that your God would use a teaching tool if it were evil. I would fear it would contaminate him—that is—if it were bad. I say, “all things were created by God, and given to man for his use, and that they must be good, as coming all from so good a source.”[29]

Tertullian: Yes, and the sun too, pours down his rays into the common sewer without being defiled.[30] God looks down on everything and every sin and is not polluted, that doesn't justify sin. Jesus used many strange illustrations such as storms and cruel judges; storms are not holy as allegories are not truth, they rather speak of truth.

Lucian: If you will not consider the gods, then consider humanity. Homer enumerates the dances with all that is sweetest and best, with dance alone blameless. A gift from God! "One man getteth from God the gift of achievement in Warfare. One, the art of dance, and song that stirreth the heart strings.”[31] The Delphic Oracle stated that whosoever beholds dancing must be able to understand the mute and hear the silent dancer.[32] Socrates in the Symposium commends dancing as a good exercize which he wants to learn.[33] Plato's Laws praises dance which is pleasurable and profitable and pyrrhic dances good for teaching form. Plato divided the human into three parts, with reason being disseminated through every potion of the dance. [34] Herodotus states that what is apprehended through the eyes is more trustworthy than hearing, theatre, therefore, appealing to the eye and ear is so much the better![35]

Tertullian: A gift from God! A tool of education? An expression of the spirit? Thedemons, predetermining in their own interests from the first, among other evils of idolatry, the pollutions of the public shows, danced with the object of drawing man away from his Lord and binding him to their own service, carried out their purpose by bestowing on him the artistic gifts which the shows require.[36] If these gifts were ever from God (which I doubt), then we must not only consider by whom all things were made, but by whom they have been perverted. There is a vast difference between the corrupted state and that of primal purity, just because there is a vast difference between the Creator and the corrupter. The theatre and dance in offending God, ceases to be His, it is in His eyes an offending thing for the creature has misused the creation.[37]As far as all of your philosophers and literature, we despise the teaching of secular literature as being foolishness in God's eyes.[38] Dance, as an expression of the Spirit, which gives pleasure? Pleasures as offered by this world are those of which we should abstain. We, being called to a higher Holy Call, strive imperfectly to be separated from this world's pleasures and embrace God's.[39]

Lucian: Did not your king David dance,[40] and what of Miriam?[41] Of this your holy brothers testified: Chrysostom said, “of those in heaven, those on earth, a unison is made, one General Assembly, one single service of thanksgiving, one single transport of rejoicing, one joyous dance.” Ambose wrote, “Everything is right when it springs from the fear of the Lord. Let's dance as David did. let's not be ashamed to show adoration of God. Dance uplifts the body above the earth into the heavenlies. Dance bound up with faith is a testimony to the living grace of God. He who dances as David danced, dances in grace.” The Bishop of Caesarea (407 A.D) asked, “could there be anything more blessed than to imitate on earth the ring dance of angels and saints? To join in our voices in prayer and son to glorify the risen creator.” Theodoret said, “I see dance as a virtue in harmony with power form above.” The Bishop of Milan (600 A.D.) taught to “dance as David danced.” St Gregory of Nazianzus expressed that to “dance as David to true refreshment of the Ark which I consider to be the approach to God, the swift encircling steps in the manner of mystery.”[42] With such a great cloud of witnesses how can you condemn dance?

Tertullian: As you will note, each made reference to David's dance with qualification: ‘Dance as David danced’—suggesting that to do otherwise is to invite error. As Augustine said, “to keep the sacred dances, discipline is most severe,”[43] David danced to God. The dances you've mentioned and the dances of theatre are to gods and humanity! They are acts of idolatry not praise and are therefore sinful and should be cast out. Judged as the Children of Israel before the Golden Calf,[44] they should be swallowed in judgment by the earth andperish in eternal fire![45]

Lucian: Can you fail to see the nobility of the theatre? When people go away form the theatre they have learned that they should choose and what to avoid, and have been taught what they did not know before.[46] Homer says, you know, of the golden wand of Hermes that he charmeth the eyes of man with it,  whomsoever he wishes, and others he wakes that are sleeping—Odysseus ... says that dancing does just that: it charms the eyes and makes them wide awake, and it rouses the mind to respond to every detail of its performances.[47]Pantomime is such a science of imitation and portrayal, of revealing what is in the mind and making intelligible what is obscure.[48] Athenaeus said of Memphis, the dancer, “he discloses what the Pythagorean philosophy is, revealing everything to us in silence more clearly than those who profess themselves teachers of the art of speech.”[49] The praise of theatre will be consummate when each of those who behold him recognizes his own traits, or rather sees in the dancer as a mirror his very self, with his customary feelings and actions. Then by so seeing oneself, follow the Delphic monition to 'know thyself’.”[50]

Tertullian: I grant that you have there things that are pleasant, thing both agreeable and innocent in themselves; even some things that are excellent. Nobody dilutes poison with gall and hellebore: the accursed thing is put into condiments well seasoned and of sweetest taste. So, too, the devil puts into the deadly draught which he prepares, things of God most pleasant and most acceptable. Everything there, then, that is either brave, noble, loud-sounding, melodious, or exquisite in taste, hold it but as the honey drop of a poisoned cake; nor make so much of your taste for its pleasures, as of the danger you run from its attractions.[51]

Lucian: You argue well, and I fear I cannot win you over either with my words or words of your saints. I have piped and you would not dance!

Tertullian: Don't blaspheme![52]

Lucian: I'll save it until we meet again!

Narrator:  And there you have it.  A debate with no real resolution, for indeed neither one would seem to bend.  Thus it is for you to decide the winner.  Should the theatre be admitted into our churches, or do we too fear that in attending the theatres—or the cinemas—of our present world, that we are entering into the domain of demons who lurk in the isles?  Shall we open our ears to the piping-song of a Siren or Christ? 

[1] Crato is the antagonist in Lucian’s The Dance. This dialogue opens in the manner found in The Dance, by quoting parts of Crato’s condemnation of dance (pantomime).

[2] Lucian was a famous satirist who was well known for his satire The Ass,wherein the protagonist is portrayed as a donkey.  It is possible that Tertullian would be acquainted with Lucian’s works.

[3] Tertullian repeatedly states that the actor and those who go to the theatre are in the devil’s kingdom and serve his realm, see chp XXVI.

[4] Crato in The Dance, par., 4.

[5] The Dance, par., 8.  Cronus was a titan and father to Zeus.  A prophecy had been given to Cronus that one of his children would kill him, thus, Cronus ate all of his children in an effort to stop the fulfillment of the prophecy.  When his wife Rhea (mother of heaven) gave birth to Zeus, she hid him in the midst of dancing women.  These women danced with swords and shields in a pyrrhic dance called the Curetes.  The clashing of the shields covered the noises of the crying baby god, saving him from his fathers Cronus. 

[6] The Dance, par., 17.  The natives of India where said to welcome their god with silent dancing and mimetic movement in imitation of “the god of Dance” in honor of the “god of Day.”

[7] Lucian is quoting from Hesiod’s Theogony

[8] Ibid., par., 22.

[9] The goddess Hera was called the queen of Heaven and was the wife of the god Zeus. Her son was named Ares (the god of war, Latin: Mar). Hera had Ares trained in the dance to better his skills of war. She had him learn the dance and art of war from the titan Priapus.

[10] Throughout The Shows, Tertullian mentions the gods as personifications of demons and “the Devil.” In chapter XXIII Tertullian refers to Satan as the creator/director of the theatre, the ludi.  In consideration of Tertullian’s penchant to ascribe parallel the gods with demons, I have paralleled Zeus to “the Devil” and Cronus to Satan.

[11] Cronus is hated by the other gods because he devoured them, they continued to live in his stomach until delivered by Zeus.

[12] The Shows, chp X

[13] ibid.

[14] ibid.

[15] ibid., Tertullian states that the theatrical arts, artists and god/demons of the theatre are all damned.

[16] The Dance,  par., 85

[17] Lucian is thought to have converted to Christianity for a brief period in his life and could have be familiar with Christian teachings: evidence of this is found in Lucian’s book The Passing of Peregrinus.

[18]  Gen. 1; Isa. 42:5; 45:18; Rev. 10:6

[19] Ps. 18:7; 68:8; 77:28; 96:11; 114:7

[20] The Dance, par., 7

[21] ibid., paraphrased from Lycinus’ arguments.

[22] Ron Cameron, ed., The Other Gospels, “The Acts of John,” p 91-93, lines 94-96.  The Acts of John is a Gnostic gospel rejected by later orthodox Christianity for its presentation of Christ as having only “appeared” human in the body of Jesus. However, it was in circulation during the times of the early church and is quoted by St. Augustine.  What is interesting in this quote is that a “dancing Christ” is pictured without outrage from the church.

[23] Ps. 149; 150; Luke 15

[24]  “God’s” referring to Zeus, Bacchus, et al., “heretics” referring to the writers of The Acts of John.  Tertullian would have been against this Gnostic presentation of Christ.

[25] Matt. 11:17; Luke 7:32

[26] The Shows, chp X, Tertullian correctly states that it was believed that Apollo played the pipe (flute).

[27] Luke 15

[28] Tertullian would have seen the mention of Apollo being compared to Jesus as a comparison of a Demon to Christ.  It is ironic that in the Renaissance Apollo will be compared to Christ and used as a “symbol” of that which is good, see Leoni de Somi’s dialogue on theatre. 

[29] This is a paraphrase from Tertullian, The Shows, chp XX.

[30] Ibid.

[31] The Dance, par., 23

[32] ibid., par., 62

[33] ibid., par., 25

[34] ibid., par., 34

[35] ibid., par., 80

[36] The Shows, chp X

[37] ibid., chp II

[38] ibid., chp 

[39] ibid., chp I

[40] II Sam. 6:14-16, I Chr. 15:29, David danced “before the Lord” manifest in the Art of the Covenant.

[41] Exo. 15:20, Miriam leads the women of Israel in a antiphonal chorus—mimetic dance—in praise to God after the crossing of the sea and the death of Pharaoh’s army.  Victory dances were traditional in the lives of the Israelites; also see Jdg 11:34; I Sam 18:6.

[42] These quotes of early Church fathers are cited by Sam Sasser in “The Dance: to be or not to be,” a paper presented to the faculty of ORU, 1984. pp 10-11

[43] ibid.

[44] Exo. 32

[45] The Shows, chp XXX

[46] The Dance, par., 81

[47] ibid., par., 85

[48] ibid., par., 36

[49] ibid., par., 72 

[50] ibid., par., 81 

[51] The Shows, chp XXVII 

[52] The blaspheme here is Lucian comparison to his own truths as parallel to those “piped” by Jesus.  Lucian is stating that Tertullian is as closed minded to the truth as the Pharisees of Jesus’ day.

The World in Which I Live

The following is copied from an article I wrote for my church. I wrote it in response to the struggles and attitudes I have seen over the past year or so, so many people wrestle with the hardships of life (we have about 20 people a year who die and a depressed economy, thus hardship is a reality of our present day).

My mom was what some would call an eternal optimist, life was always greener on her side of the fence. At times she would wrestle with the harsh reality the was her life and she would face the hardship as if it was a demon she could slay. Her faith in God was the sword by which she killed her demons and if she was defeated by the demon of hardship, it was just the devil persecuting her. In the midst of any life hardship (e.g., persecution), she knew all that needed to be done was to hang on and rest in Christ--who also was persecuted. In the morning, she would wake up, grab a hold of her sword of faith and fight another day. Later in her life her view of "reality" seemed "unrealistic," overly optimistic and we would say that she lived in a world of her own creating. She did not deal realistically with finances or other worldly realities. Oh, she wasn't crazy, she was happy. Her lack of care for the "things of this world" also meant that she didn't leave a penny for us kids when she left this world: for all of her treasures were found in the flesh and blood of her kids and those treasures that are found in heaven.

My dad is also an optimist, I think it is a "Farley" thing: the Farley's would said it is the Irish way. He doesn't believe he is wrestling with demons when things go wrong, but he does believe the "universe" will sort itself out when we hold fast to a positive attitude and work hard to figure things out. My dad is also the type of man you want beside you in the middle of a sad struggle, because somehow he will make you laugh, encourage you to take a life filled breath and somehow help you find hope for tomorrow. Both my mom and dad have taught me something very important--to live life, not just survive it.

You can define your world and your life by your attitude and approach. Your attitude might not change the reality that you are going through a hardship, but it can change the way in which you "live" through it. There are many reasons to be down and even pessimistic. But pessimism doesn't add a day to your life--in fact, pessimistic worry is more likely to cause your hair to fall out and your life expectancy to be shortened. I have seen the hardest reality of life--which is death. I have watched as some have gone through life kicking and screaming, bitter at the world and its emptiness. In their last years or days they were mad at everyone and everything. When they die it is with a great sorrow holding little joy. I have also watched others (such as my mom), whose days certainly held sorrows, but what was focused on in life was its love, laughter and joy. And when I look back on a life so lived by this philosophy, I see a life filled with incredible sorrows and struggles, but one that shines all the brighter through those struggles of life, for such a life overflows with love and joy, incredible experiences, and a richness of life I hope everyone can have.

So, though I will weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice, I will always remember that sorrow may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning. There are many things in life I can change, and I will work on those things with a positive attitude, just like my dad. There are things I cannot change, for those I will wake up thinking of my mom and grab my sword of faith, know that God and the Universe is "for" me and live my life to the fullest. Call me crazy, but I am happy.

Staight Christians who Talk to Gays and Gay Christians

CHRISTIANITY AND GAY TALK

Many of my friends and I have noticed the difficulty of the dialogue between the language of Christianity and the experience of the gay person.  I have many straight Christian friends who don’t understand the reaction they get when talking to gays.  The straight Christian says something “in the name of love” and all the gay hears is “hate” and BAM the walls go up.  The gay brother or sister says something about their lover  to the straight Christian and BAM the walls go up.  Hum—it would appear that we have a impasse, and one that most churches are not doing anything about.  Many people say they “love” but all they communicate and all that is heard is “hate” or “judgment”, this leads to alienation—language can create a total disconnect, making it as if you are talking to someone from another world.  I am going state the most common “hurtful” and alienating language, then respond from a gay point of view (NOT that there  is “one” single view—just some common thoughts).  Please note that I’m not trying to argue theology or biblical studies in this document (I do have other rather expansive documents that discusses the Biblical support for gays if you want to read those!), herein I’m simply trying to help understanding of why the Christian-language is so often alienating to many gays.

7 ALIENATING PHRASES!

1.       “Love the sinner, hate the sin” 

       Variations:  “ I love you unconditionally, I just don’t agree with your life style,”  “ I love you, but I don’t    support your life style”  “I  love you, but you need to know that I don’t believe in homosexuality,”  “God loves you even though you are a sinner,”  etc

Here’s the problems. 

a.       First:  you’ve qualified your love.  That’s not unconditional.  Do you qualify your love for others you speak to:  to the proud son do you say , “I love you son, but hate your pride” or to the person of a different political view, “I love you, but hate that you’re a democrat” or to the friend who is a girl “I love you, but wish you were a boy, but since you’re a girl we cannot hang out.”  More profoundly, the qualification is seen as a hate toward something the person cannot change, it’s like hating that a person is a girl or boy, black or white. 

b.      Second:  the view that homosexuality itself is a sin.  That will always be a problem in Christian language.  I would remind you that there are less homosexual acts listed as “sin” than there are heterosexual acts that are listed as “sin.”  I would also argue that homosexuality itself is NOT a sin.   Selah. Hum… Ok…so you see already, the fruit of many persons’ “love” will start an agreement about the “terms” of that love, and the judgment of its qualification.  No longer will the conversation be about “love” it will be about the “hate” or the definition of “sin.”

2.       “Homosexuality is a choice” 

Variations:  “have you tried to not to be gay?”; “have you tried to be heterosexual?”;  “have your tried to choice what Christ believes you to be instead of what the world says you are?”; “You need to believe the Truth of who you are in Christ, not your old man nature”; “you should try seeing yourself as a heterosexual and realize that being homosexual is a lie”;  “choose to be celibate”

(this argument is echoed in X Man, when Iceman came “out” as a mutant to his mother and father, and the mother asked  “have you tried not being a mutant?”  Boy did I laugh!)

Here’s the problems

a.       Homosexuality is not a choice.  If you use choice language you will alienate anyone who believes there are “born” this way—which is most gays.  Most gays believe that they are gay because of the way they are born.  Most gays will say they are not made “gay” by culture or by recruitment  and are certainly not “gay” by choice: any more than straights  “choose” heterosexuality, or Caucasians choose  to be white, or Africans to be black or brown, etc.  It is simply the way you are born.  To argue against the way they “are” causes a fundamental crisis of identity, and challenges something that is fundamental to the person’s being. Using “choice” language only increases the duress.

b.      Homosexuality itself is not an “old man” “fallen” behavior.  It is a natural behavior and orientation which occurs in other places in nature.  Selah. If you argue against this you have come to an impasse and will only succeed at alienation. 

c.       On the flip side.  We cannot choose our sexuality, but we do choose how we realize our sexuality with integrity.  Most people cannot be “celibate” (St. Paul says only the very few have that “gift”), don’t expect the gay population to be any more celibate than the heterosexual population.  Don’t require of gays what you don’t require of straights.  Trying to “contain” or “restrain” homosexual ‘behavior’ only increases its lack of control.  Gays should be encouraged to have healthy relationships as they grow up as much as other kids discovering their sexual identity—and with as much grace.  When you try to make gays be celibate or “straight”, what you produce is a system of failure that will only increase the guilt and shame, and at times create duel lives in those “trying” to be “good.”  You create a system that encourages lying, subterfuge, and “seduction,”  those gays who “try to choose” to be straight will often only fail, repent, fail, repent… and enter into a cycle of failure the ends up driving the person into a divided state of being. 

                                                               i.      Christianity too often produces the “sinners” they condemn. 

The idea of “choice” leads only to failure.  It encourages a false process and has gay men getting married only to find themselves unable to sustain the “choice” they have made.  The result is that there are many many gay men who tried to be Christian by getting “married” and “choosing” for Christ. They are told this is the righteous choice, and the right choice and they “choose” to live a lie in the name of truth.  As a result the gay person many times live a divided life, a half-life, or lives a lie, and a few divorce in order to try to live more integrally (though they are judged as “choosing wrongly.”).  The language of “Choice”  is one of the great sins of the Church parlays against homosexuals and families. 

3.       “God can heal your homosexuality”

Variations:  “have you prayed about it?” “I’ll pray for you to overcome this,” “God can help you overcome this,”  “Have you fasted?” “come to the healing rooms, you just need to be washed with God’s love,”  “tell me about your father,”  “have you gone to Exodus International, there are a lot of people who have overcome homosexuality,” “You know I have a friend who overcame their homosexuality, you can too!” “Your gay because you were molested, so if you just get healed from that you’ll overcome your homosexuality,”  “God can deliver you from this”  “isn’t God able to do anything?...so he can help you with this!” ‘with God anything is possible”

This is especially cruel to say to a gay person.  Because the truth of the matter is God doesn’t heal or deliver people from being gay.  Oh, there are a very few that say that God has, and many  many more who said “God healed me!” only to fall back into “homosexuality.”  Most gays who are or were Christian, prayed, cried, tried not to be, fasted, counseled, and “believed” in God: only to wake up the next morning—gay.  You cannot heal homosexuality, it is not a sickness, it is not a possession of evil.  Anytime you use this phrase or its variations you are only condemning them to failure.  God can do anything…but doesn’t.  Well, if you follow that line of thought it only leads to a very cruel God: for if God CAN heal gays and DOESN’T  heal gays of something that you perceive is destroying  a life and that of a families… what a cruel God.  So, I hope you can see how wrong and evil this statement is to make to a gay person. You can drive a wedge between them and God with your hopeful words.

4.       He/She says, “I’m gay,”:  you say, “I’m sorry!”

Homosexuality is not something to mourn; it should be celebrated as much as our heterosexuality.  We should celebrate their first boyfriends/girlfriends.  Their first kiss, the first time they held hands, etc..  We should be able to talk about what they “like” and who is “cute.”  We should encourage everyone to find heroes and mentors that help gays live a good gay life.  I’m not saying that we have to parade about, but if you want to, sure…parade as much as straights parade.  Kissing or holding hands in public should be as qualified or as “appropriately” done as it is for straights. Currently, most gays would be judged as “pushing it in our faces” if they showed public displays of affection—this is inconstant and hypocritical: are straights pushing heterosexuality “in our faces” when they hold hands in public?

5.        “Quit pushing your homosexuality in our faces”

Variations:  “every time we get together you talk about being gay…” “I don’t want to hear again about your gay boyfriend, cann’t we talk about something else!” “I don’t want to hear what you think the Bible says in support of gays”  “I don’t want to hear about what you did last night”

I’m going to repeat response 4:  I’m not saying that we have to parade about, but if you want to, sure…parade as much as straights parade.  Kissing or holding hands in public should be as qualified or as “appropriately” done as it is for straights. Currently, most gays would be judged as “pushing it in our faces” if they showed public displays of affection—this is inconstant and hypocritical: are straights pushing heterosexuality “in our faces” when they hold hands in public?   All humans talk about those people they love, their friends, their successes, their struggles, if you cannot talk about a gay persons loved one, then this is a problem not with them “pushing it in your face” but with the fact that you don’t actually accept their life.  If you cannot celebrate a person’s successes and struggles, loves and heart-breaks, you aren’t really a close friend—you’re just an acquaintance.  It is a great sorrow when a gay person cannot share significant successes and advances in life with a friend who sees such as a life as “sinful.”

Telling Story:  When a person first comes out, there is a life time of thoughts, feelings and experiences they have to share: and a new world to discover.  At first they will talk about it, share it, and explore its truths and realities.  This is the most important time for you to be involved in the discussion (with NO judgment).  This is when gays will find out what they will or will not do—like a teenager discovering the world.  They need to talk about it… encourage them and you can be part of a powerful process and redefinition of life.  You can be an advocate of a very important change for a new integrated and authentic person.  But if you are going to “judge” what they share—or share it with shame, then they will not tell you and you will not be part of one of the most important changes in their life…and possibly not part of their life afterward (for you weren’t there when they really needed you).

6.        “Just give me some space! I just need some time to deal with you being gay”

“I cried when I heard you were gay, so just let me heal before we talk about it”, “I cannot believe it, you cannot be gay” “just let me think about it for a while, then we will talk” “Can’t we just be friends like we were before?” “I don’t want to talk about it, just leave me alone”  “please don’t tell my friends (family members) your gay…I don’t want them to judge you”

Shame.  Are you ashamed of your gay friend?  Well, that’s going to only hurt you both.  They are not going to feel comfortable with your family, and everyone is going to be oversensitive to things that appear or come across as “too gay.”  So you will all behave falsely and things will become strained and fake.  Not a good foundation for any relationship or true public interchange.

Hurt.  You feel “hurt” by the confession of homosexuality.  Ok…so you need time to deal with the shock.  But while you deal with it, they are dying, afraid and alone.  I’d get over yourself quick and be a friend as soon as possible.   Most gays fear coming out to their family and friends because the most common reaction is rejection.  Your silence and “getting over it” will many times simply be understood as another form of rejection.  In truth, the “World” is much MUCH better at loving gays through the transition the most Christians I know.   Most Christians are too “shocked” “hurt” “betrayed” and biblically conflicted to be helpful, and usually have been more hurtful—saying the things I’ve listed herein.  Many Christians are so busy being “righteous” that they forget that the first rule of Christianity is love, even self sacrificing love.

The sad truth of the matter is that most gays find they lose most of their fundamentalist Christian friends.  Many gays lose their friends during this time because they no longer “relate” or they are “distanced” from them during the most important part of their life.   Some Christians “distance” themselves from the openly gay people because of “guilt by association,”  even if they think being gay is “ok” …. Frankly that is seen as a fair weather friend.

7.       Straight Christian says, “Why am I the one who is made out to be wrong, why do I have to change the way I talk?”

     Variations from Christians:   “Why do I have to apologize for what I said, I’m also hurt” “Can’ they see  that they are hurting me, that I feel betrayed by their lie”  “Can’t they give me the same grace they expect from me?”  “Why do I have to change? They are the ones that lied about being straight” “Don’t I have the right to an opinion?” 

Hum, you could also ask “Why did Jesus have to die for me?”   It’s the true Christ-like thing to do. 

                When Christians speak they speak from a position of privilege and power.  Many times it has be Christians who have oppressed gays and judged them as “sinners” and “hell bound.”  This means Christianity has some extra work to do to overcome what has been historically a position of great harm and cruelty.  It is Christians that have burned gays at the stake, Christians that have told society to hate gays, fear gays, not trust gays, and who say being gay is a sin, sickness, evil, possession.  It is the Christian’s interpretation of the Law that denies gay-rights, that teaches that homosexuality is a danger to the family, and is a perversion and aberrant behavior.  For these reasons, Christians should change their language and understand that it will take twice as much work to overcome the hurts gays have suffered.  That gays strike back is not a surprise, it is their very life they are fighting for,  not just doctrine or dogma.   

There are more phrases…and perhaps those reading can add some they have come against or have been hurt by, and let us also mention those that have been helpful!

“I love you, always and forever!”
"God loves you and says you are wonderously made"
“Tell me what you have been going through”
“What can we celebrate?”
“Can you introduce me to your friends?
“So, how can I support you during this time?”
“Hey, when can we hang out? The place is your choice!”